


It Hurts at First But It Gets Better

by Crematosis



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cock & Ball Torture, Dom Natasha Romanov, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, Painplay, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23922784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crematosis/pseuds/Crematosis
Summary: Tony is emotionally reeling after the events of Ultron and goes to Natasha for a way to cope with it all
Relationships: Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33
Collections: MCU Kink Bingo Round 4





	It Hurts at First But It Gets Better

**Author's Note:**

> For the S & M Gear: Ballcrusher square for MCU Kink Bingo

Tony watched as Natasha walked around the bed, testing and adjusting the knots securing him to the bedposts. Being in such a vulnerable position was a new thing for him. But there was really something appealing to the idea and his stomach swooped with the thrill of anticipation.

If he was honest with himself, it was also a little frightening. Natasha was very good at hurting people so he knew he was in for a lot of pain. Probably more than he could handle. But that was fine. It was what he wanted, what he needed. What he deserved.

Natasha tapped his shoulder. “Everything looks secure. Are you comfortable?”

“I’m not supposed to be comfortable. Isn’t that the whole point?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Smartass. Alright, let me put it to you in a way you’ll understand. Can you maintain this position for the next fifteen minutes?”

“Of course I can. It doesn’t hurt.”

“Not yet,” Natasha said with a smirk.

Tony shuddered. If he kept sassing Natasha, it would only make the pain worse. But it might also irritate her enough that she would call off the whole thing. For once in his life, he resolved to keep his mouth shut.

Natasha gently ran her nails over Tony’s bicep. “So, tell me what you decided for your safe word.”

Tony sighed. “I told you I’m not going to need one. You know what you’re doing.”

“And I told you I don’t play with people who don’t have safe words,” Natasha said serenely. “So, what’s it going to be?”

“Fine,” Tony said with a huff. “It’s Jarvis.”

It still hurt to say his name. Jarvis had died twice now. Once as a human, once as a machine. It didn’t hurt any less the second time. Tony still shouted for Jarvis to turn on the lights sometimes when he woke from a nightmare and his heart always sank when Friday answered instead. Not that there was anything wrong with Friday. She was a good A.I. She was just no Jarvis.

Natasha trailed her hand up Tony’s neck and cupped his face. “I’m proud of you,” she said. “It can’t be easy figuring out how communicate your wants and needs.”

Tony frowned. “Why would it be hard asking for sexy stuff? I’m not ashamed to be kinky.”

Natasha acknowledged that with a slight tilt of her head. “Still,” she said. “You’re opening yourself up to someone you know. It takes a lot of balls to be vulnerable with your friends.”

“Heh, balls,” Tony said.

Natasha shook her head. “I should have known. You can’t take this seriously for more than two seconds.” But her smile was still fond.

Tony shifted as much as the ropes would let him. “So, we getting this show on the road sometime soon?” Natasha’s compliments were undeserved and they made him uncomfortable.

“As you wish.” Natasha leaned over and lifted the ballcrusher device off the bedside table.

Tony’s stomach swooped again. Oh god, this was it.

Realistically, it didn’t look that scary. It was just two pieces of acrylic sheeting with a hole in the middle, attached with a couple wingnuts. But Tony had looked at pictures and watched videos of the thing in action and it was plenty scary. Who in their right mind wanted to flatten their balls like a pancake between two sheets of plastic? But that was bound to be painful and pain was what Tony wanted.

Natasha gave Tony an assessing look before she lowered the device down.

He sucked in a breath, feeling the weight of it settling over his belly and thighs. His cock fit snugly right through the hole in the middle and his balls spread out over the lower acrylic sheet.

“Comfortable?” Natasha asked with a grin.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Haha, very funny.”

Natasha rubbed a soothing hand over his hip. “We’re going to start slow since this is your first time. If you need me to slow down or stop at any point, you let me know.”

Tony nodded. But he had no intention of doing so. He was going to suck it up and endure the pain, no matter how bad it got.

It didn’t hurt at first. There was just gentle pressure as Natasha slowly started turning the wingnuts. But the pain was coming, Tony knew that. And the anticipation was killing him, every click of the wingnut tightening echoing like a gunshot in the quiet room.

“You’re doing good,” Natasha said soothingly. “You’re a strong man, Tony."

Tony gritted his teeth. He didn’t want her pity.

Natasha tightened the wingnuts another few notches.

It was definitely starting to get painful. Tony sucked in a shaky breath. He could do this. He could do this. He’d been through worse.

“Still doing okay?”

“Yep, all good,” Tony gasped out.

“You sure?” Natasha’s eyes were a little too knowing.

“Just get on with it,” Tony growled. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Not being able to see what was happening made all the sensations ten times worse and he was unprepared for the final twist of the wingnuts.

He gasped and his eyes flew open as his groin exploded into white-hot pain. “Oh god. Oh god, it hurts.”

“Talk to me,” Natasha demanded. “What’s your color?”

Tony shook his head. “I…I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I need a color from you, Stark.”

Tony shuddered. “It’s just pain. I should be able to handle a little pain.”

“That’s not a color. I need to know where your head’s at.”

Green. That was all he needed to say to get Natasha to stop fussing over him. Green would make her keep going, keep ratcheting up the pain. Because goddamn did it hurt like a motherfucker, but it was nowhere near what he deserved.

But his body was weak and traitorous and, “Yellow” came out of his mouth instead.

“That’s good, Tony. That’s really good. I’m proud of you.” Her hands flew over the wingnuts and a little of the pressure eased.

Tony’s breath came in huge gulps. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, that may have been a little fast to start out. Let me just catch my breath real quick and we can keep going.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do? You’re not enjoying yourself, are you?”

“I’m not supposed to enjoy myself. I’m supposed to-”

“Yes, you are,” Natasha cut in. “There’s something really magical about taking pleasure in pain. There’s power and joy in being able to inflict pain on a willing partner. There’s relief in surrendering and letting someone else take control. But there’s a line between therapeutic pain and torture. And because you’re you, you can never stay safely behind the line. You have to fling yourself over it with wild abandon.”

Tony forced a smile. “What can I say? It’s all true. I never do anything by half-measures.” His smile faltered. “Even my screw-ups have to be spectacular. The whole thing with Ultron. All those lives destroyed. Steve hates me now, the team doesn’t trust me, and even Jarvis is gone. I don’t deserve to enjoy anything anymore.”

Distantly, Tony was aware of Natasha removing the device and setting it back on the bedside table. Goddamn, he had used his safe word. He squeezed his eyes closed against the frustrated tears. He couldn’t do one fucking thing right.

“Hey,” Natasha said. “Look at me. I’m not going to pretend that every decision you ever made was the right one, because you won’t believe that and that’s not what you need to hear anyway. But you don’t need to suffer and torture yourself with the guilt for the rest of your life. Your heart was in the right place and you wanted to do the right thing. That has to be enough to keep you going.”

“But it’s not.”

“It will be. One day.” Natasha’s expression softened. “I’ll help you find ways to cope. Maybe some of Bruce’s mindfulness meditations, maybe more training with Steve, maybe helping rebuild the community, maybe even a little bondage with me. But we’re going to go easier next time, because I want to hurt you, not destroy you.” She pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “I appreciate you coming to me instead of drowning yourself in a bottle. I know how hard it is for you to ask for help, but you’re getting there. Be gentle with yourself. You’re already becoming a better man.”

Tony blinked back hot tears. “i’ll try,” he said.

“Good. That’s all any of us can ever do.”


End file.
